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Greens, Beans, and Healthy Things

Day 44

The good news is that I am down 12.1 pounds in 44 days. The even better news is that I feel great and am seeing the weight loss as a side effect of great health.

Once again, I have failed at my daily post commitment. I am still doing really great. Here is a recap.

Last weekend, I volunteered for a charity bike ride and was put to work in the kitchen. I stuck to my plan 100% and wasn't even tempted. I brought my own food and was surprised at how many folks commented on how good it looked. I met a guy that is doing a similar diet, so I shared my steamed sweet potato and kale with him. He was grateful! My job was to saute veggies for the pasta sauce and was told to use the 'fake margarine' but I decided to use water instead. I figured that there was already enough oil. It was my secret contribution to the health of the riders.

On Sunday night, my g/f and I were both really tired from volunteering all weekend, so we went to the Weary Traveler for dinner. I have been craving meat for the past two weeks and so decided I would have carne asada that comes with organic, local beef, pico de gallo, pickled veggies and guacamole. I thought my body responded well, but on Monday night I had a horrible displasia / fibromyalgia flare up. This may have been due to being on feet so much, but I hiked a 6 mile mountain in South Dakota and felt great. I really think this may have been the meat and will need to experiment further.

I actually don't really even like meat very much. Over the past 5 years I have rarely eaten meat and have gone through periods of being vegan off and on. Even when I do eat meat, it is usually only once per month or so. Giving up dairy is not hard at all and I feel much better, but I still would like to be able to eat meat on occasion provided that it won't cause a flare up each time.

I went to a community dinner function on Monday and helped in the kitchen as well. The theme was all vegan and the food looked great, but I only ate some of the bean salad b/c the other food had rice, seitan, oil, and or sugar and those are foods I am avoiding. The bean salad had black beans, mango, papaya, avocado, red onion, sweet potato, and a "green" dressing of cilantro and a mango flavored vinegar. It was really, really good. I will try to get the recipe to post it.

Yesterday, I was home all day in a lot of pain due to my flare up. Breakfast was a smoothie with 2 oranges, a bunch of kale, vitamins, water, 1/2 cup of almond milk, and a banana.

Lunch was left over bean salad and a bit of left over tofu with Bragg's, Mrs. Dash and sesame seeds.

Dinner was super yummy and was an ear of steamed sweet corn, 1/2 green pepper, steamed green beans, oil free hummus (bountiful bean), and little tomatoes from my friends at Young Earth Farm.

Breakfast today was 2 oranges, 3 tiny apples from the farmer's market, and 1.5 oz of sunflower seeds. Lunch is salt-free veggie soup from Health Valley, green pepper, a cucumber, tomatoes, and hummus.

Day 39

I am not hungry yet, so I haven't had breakfast. It is probably due to the fact that I overate last night at dinner :)

Yesterday for lunch, I was in a hurry so I quickly made a spinach, almond milk, water, banana, and blueberry smoothie and chugged it down. I don't like eating like that, but sometimes it is unavoidable.

Thursday is usually a really busy day for me and I am still figuring out how to plan ahead. This entire week has been busy with getting caught up from being gone for a week and a half. Due to poor planning, I had dinner out at Qdoba. I realize that this is bad. I had a naked burrito bowl with beans, grilled fajita vegges, pico de gallo, corn salsa, lettuce, and guacamole. According to the nutritional calculator, my burrito was 230 calories and my chips were 290. Just a little over 500 calories, but I still felt REALLY FULL.

Of course I had to have the corn chips. I beat myself up over it until I realized that I am just not ready to give up tortilla chips or coffee for that matter. I also realize that beating myself up only promotes the pattern of self loathing which in turn promotes addiction. So, I gave myself permission to eat a serving of tortilla chips 1-2 times per week and I feel good about it. Are they good for me? Absolutely not, but I am just not ready to give them up. I have also given myself permission to have one cup of coffee per day and I feel okay about that too for now.

By giving myself permission to have these two items, it takes away the power of wanting something I can't have. I have a feeling that as time goes on, I will want these items less.

All in all, I know that I am doing really well. I have given up all grains, all dairy, meat, refined sugars, chocolate, white potatoes, alcohol, salt and oil for the most part. I did have a glass of wine with my dad while I was home (It really didn't even taste good.) I do still eat some oil and added salt like when I eat tortilla chips, but am not adding it to foods that I prepare.

Good news. My g/f has been eating about 90% Eat to Live and a friend/client signed up for the member forums last night. YAY!

Day 38

Hmmmm- when I first started my Eat to Live Journey 38 days ago, I made the commitment to blog everyday. Blogging is hard for me. I don't really like to write and sometimes it feels vulnerable to expose myself publicly. The flip side is that it helps keep me accountable and at the same time, I hope others who are struggling with their weight /health will find my blog helpful.

This morning I realized that I haven't blogged in a few weeks. I knew I wouldn't blog on vacation, but have been back for 4 days and have only posted once. Even this morning, I am full of excuses, the biggest being time. Saying that I don't have enough time is funny. I had time to make a cup of coffee, time to talk with co-workers, time to check my email, time to read the headlines. The reality is that I am not 'making' time. The blog is part of my health journey and if I stop making time to blog, I will stop making time for Eat to Live and will ultimately let my food addiction take over again. Today I am recommitting myself to blogging everyday.

I have done really well since returning from vacation.

Yesterday I had cherries, grapes, an apple and one ounce of raw pumpkin and sunflower seeds for breakfast.

Lunch was bean soup and a smoothie with almond milk, water, spinach, banana, and blueberries.

Dinner was at a friends house, but I brought my salad with me. Romaine, 1 avocado, red onion, red pepper, tomato, carrots, edamame, Mrs. Dash, Dr. Fuhrmans Spicy Pecan Vinegar, and 1 ounce of raw sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

I also started taking Dr. Fuhrman's Gentle Care vitamins.

For Breakfast today I had 3 small apples (from the Farmer's Market, YUMMY!) and 1 orange. Also had 1 ounce of raw sunflower / pumpkin seeds.

It's good to be back

1 Month

Today is day 35 on my health journey!

I have been on vacation for the past 11 days and today is my first day back in town. I didn't turn on a computer the entire time I was gone and it felt great.

I was a bit worried about eating as I went home to see my family. Old habits die hard and it is easy to fall into old patterns, especially with family. The good news is that I did GREAT! Since I was staying at my parents house, I had access to their kitchen. For the trip out, I packed a huge cooler full of fruit, veggies, hummus, and raw cashews and seeds. I also brought all of my flavored vinegars and salt free seasonings. I probably ate too much in the car as I had a 12 hour drive and know that I ate out of boredom, but I could have been eating junk food so I don't feel too badly about it.

I went to the store the day I arrived and bought plenty of good food for the week. My family was really supportive and I even got them to eat my Vegan Lasagna. I thought it would be weird to eat something different, but no one really seems to notice. I am realizing that everyone is so into what they are doing, they don't seem to pay much attention to my food. Mostly people are curious and will ask questions.

Everyone was interested in my weight loss, but they all said that the ETL plan seems to drastic. I explained that it can be adopted slowly over time, but am not sure that it landed with any of them. I am contemplating giving Eat to Live and Eat for Health as X-mas or Birthday gifts.

My Mom and I usually eat Dove chocolates while we watch TV and I thought it would be hard to break the habit, but my body is responding so well to the ETL plan, that I didn't even want chocolate.

More later...

Day 22

Wow - it has been a crazy day at work! Busy, busy, busy-

The past couple of days have been great for eating and I feel better all the time.

Yesterday I had fruit and raw cashews for breakfast. For lunch I had maple grilled tempeh with steamed carrots, pea pods, red onion and mango! I also had a salad with this.

We had dinner with some friends and I was kind of worried about how I would feel in a social situation. I made a spinach, pineapple, banana smoothie before I went and they assured me that they would accommodate me. My g/f put together a 'starry night' fruit salad with blackberries, blueberries, champagne grapes, and star fruit! It was really yummy. I had a bottle of kombucha, the fruit salad, and a huge bowl of steamed sugar snap peas, carrots, red pepper, tomatoes and zucchini. I seasoned them with some fig flavored vinegar, sun dried tomatoes, red pepper, black pepper, and oregano. They were really yummy.

Everyone else had homemade pizza, sliced cheese, blueberry pie, frozen custard and wine. The funny thing was that I didn't want any of what they were eating. I didn't feel like I was missing out at all. Really! I can't believe it. I know that it probably seems like I am saying that to feel better, but it is true. On the way home, my g/f was complaining about being in a food coma, but I felt great! It also felt great to wake up and not feel hung over from the food and wine! Yay!

I also started my period today and was able to make it through PMS without chocolate, chips, or any other junk food. I also didn't really have cravings.

Today has been good too so far :)

Day 20!

I can't believe that it has already been 20 days! I really feel great. I haven't taken my allergy medicine in over a week, my taste buds are changing every day, my clothes are fitting better, and my cravings are decreasing.

I wasn't very hungry yesterday - might have something to do with Friday's SAD lunch. Friday night we went to the gym and I had a hummus plate for dinner. It had red pepper hummus, tapenade, tomatoes, artichokes, and carrots. It was good. I was still hungry, so I had a small smoothie with soy milk, blueberries, mango, and pineapple.

Yesterday I had a piece of baked hummus for breakfast/lunch and some agave cashews from the coop (not the best choice) I was out shopping and was in a hurry.

For dinner my g/f made tempeh and zucchini in an orange sauce (ETL friendly). It was yummy. In the afternoon, I made fresh kale and apple juice, so we each had some of that as well. I also made a smoothie with the left over Kale pulp, soy milk, a banana, and 1 cup of blueberries. It was good. I couldn't finish it all, so I had the rest for breakfast along with a small cup of the apple, kale juice.

Lunch was a green machine smoothie from the coop - orange juice, pineapple, mango, and spirullina and a piece of tofu. I came home and made Dr. Fuhrman's hummus and a bean salad so I snacked on peas and cucumbers while cooking.

The bean salad was kind of tossed together, but here is basically what I did. 4-5 cups of cooked chick peas, the juice of 2 lemons, 3 tbsp of Dr. Fuhrmans raisan, reisling vinegar, about a cup of raw pecans, 6-8 scallions, 2 cloves of garlic, 1/2 bunch of cilantro, and around a cup of green grapes (maybe 1 1/2 cups). Chop it up and toss it together. The original recipe calls for rice, honey, and a bunch of salt. I think it tastes better the ETL way :)

This is one of those salads that tastes better after it sits overnight.

I am really enjoying my creations and the ETL way of cooking is getting easier and more intuitive every day. Oh, and I also bought the Eat for Health audiobook, so I have been listening to it while I cook.

Important Lesson

We had a lunch outing at work today that I had to go to. I thought about bringing my own food, but I didn't want to be a pain in the butt, so I decided to wing it - BAD idea.

We went to a local Mexican restaurant that is pretty authentic- for the Midwest, that is. My plan was to order a taco salad, but they all had meat and cheese. When I tried to order the salad with no cheese, the waiter told me that the salads are all pre-made and that I had to have cheese. They also only had refried beans, so those were out. I decided to order the veggie fajitas and asked if they could steam them instead of cooking them in oil, but again, he told me that was not possible. I must say our waiter didn't speak English very well and was quickly becoming frustrated with me. I told him that I would not need the tortillas, but they came anyway. I also ordered a side of guacamole.

Lets just say that lunch was a DISASTER! My veggies were so overcooked, they were soggy and they were swimming in some kind of oily, gelatinous sauce. When I say swimming, I mean there was at least 1/2 inch of the mystery sauce at the bottom of the bowl. Everyone at the table said they looked great, but I wondered how I was going to eat them. I wish I would have sent it back and said that I could not eat it, but again, I didn't want to be a pain. I ate roughly 1/3 of the veggies and tried to pick them off the top of the grease pile. I also used several napkins to try to soak up some of the grease, but it was a lost cause.

I basically paid $15 for the worst meal I have ever had. The funny thing is, that I would have cleared the plate 3 weeks ago and am sure it would have been delicious. It has been over 4 hours and I still feel like I am going to throw up. I hate throwing up and will avoid it at all costs, but I think I would feel so much better. I have chewed a 2 pieces of gum and I still have a greasy filmy taste in my mouth. I am MISERABLE right not, just miserable.

Although I feel absolutely horrible right now, I am glad that I am having this experience. The Standard American Diet really is SAD. It is an affirmation that ETL is working, that my body is becoming healthier everyday, that I have found a superior way to live and eat.

I can do this thing :)

Balsamic Blueberries and Peaches

Adapted From Epicurious

This recipe was super easy, and very yummy! I was a little leary of the black pepper, but it added the perfect little kick. Be sure to use fresh ground pepper.

• 3 tablespoons sugar, or to taste (I substituted with 1 TBSP date sugar - If the fruit is in season, you won't need any sugar at all)
  
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• 3 cups blueberries (about 1 lb)
• 1 lb peaches or nectarines, sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper (optional)

Boil 3 tablespoons sugar with vinegar, and 1 cup blueberries in a 1- to 1 1/2-quart heavy saucepan, stirring, 1 minute. Remove from heat.

Combine remaining 2 cups blueberries with peach slices in a large bowl. Toss with hot blueberry syrup and black pepper, then add sugar to taste. Let stand, tossing occasionally, 30 minutes.

Maple Grilled Tempeh Recipe

Adapted from 101 Cookbooks

This was awesome- it was really tasty! I highly recommend this dish for anyone who hasn't eaten tempeh or is not sure the best way to prepare it.

8 ounces tempeh
3 tablespoons soy sauce (I used wheat free / low sodium)
3 tablespoons maple syrup (Use Grade B- Pure Maple Syrup and decrease amount to 1tbsp)
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
2 cloves garlic, peeled, crushed and chopped
1/2 teaspoon powdered chipotle (or a couple pinches of cayenne)

Cut the tempeh diagonally into 4 triangles. If possible, thin those triangles out by slicing each in half horizontally - 8 triangles total. Set the tempeh aside while you make the maple marinade by combining the soy sauce, maple syrup, rice vinegar, garlic, and chipotle powder in a small bowl. Reserve a few tablespoons of the marinade to use later as a drizzle.

Place the pieces of tempeh flat in a large baking dish. Pour the remaining marinade over the tempeh. Make sure the tops and bottoms are coated and marinate for anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 days, flipping occasionally.

Grill the tempeh on a medium hot grill for a few minutes on each side - Brushing all the while with the marinade remaining in the bottom of the baking dish.

Spicy Carrot Salad

Taken From Fat Free Vegan Kitchen

2 teaspoons ground flax seeds
2 tablespoons hot water
1/4 cup orange juice
2 tablespoons fruit vinegar (we used Dr. Fuhrman's Blood Orange Vinegar)
1/2 teaspoon spicy Spanish paprika (or 1/4 teas. paprika plus 1/4 tsp. cayenne)
1/4 teaspoon cumin
4 cups grated carrots (about 4 large carrots)
4 clementines (small seedless oranges), peeled and sectioned - Can sub

2 tablespoons walnuts (optional)

Put the ground flax seeds in a small bowl and add the hot water. Stir and allow to sit until thickened, about 5-10 minutes. The add orange juice, vinegar, paprika, and cumin. Grate the carrots. Put them in a bowl and immediately add the dressing and mix well. Fold in the clementine sections and sprinkle with walnuts. Serve cold or at room temperature.

You can substitute sugar free mandarin oranges and the mandarin juice for the orange juice as well.

Cravings

Yesterday was really hard for me. Still trying to figure out why, but I found myself on a slippery slope. I kept thinking about junk food, hamburgers, fries, crackers...SALT! Just when I think that I am done with the detox period, it gets worse.

I did read that it could take up to 6 weeks though, so I will stay strong. I find that I am not hungry in the mornings and that true hunger doesn't come until around 10:am or so. This is good. In the past, I have forced myself to eat breakfast even when not hungry, which led to overeating throughout the day. I am always more hungry in the evenings. I really like that I am getting in touch with my body and eating when I am truly hungry and not because it is 'time' to eat. I like that it is okay to eat dinner at 9pm if that is when true hunger arrives.

Here is what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:
cherries, grapes, orange and 1 oz raw cashews

Lunch:
I made a poor choice for lunch. I was going to go to Copps and get a salad, but when coworkers said they were going to Panchero's for lunch, I decided to go with them. Like I said, my cravings yesterday were horrible.

I had a taco salad with romaine, black beans, pico de gallo, guacamole, corn salsa, and fajita veggies and I had corn chips too. I ignored the voice in the back of my head and got the corn chips. They don't even taste good! Old habits die hard. I know that this could have been much, much worse, but still was not an ETL friendly meal. The guy at the counter said, "wow, you are really healthy". If he only knew what I usually eat :)

Dinner:

This meal was one of the best ETL meals that I have ever had. My g/f had the day off and decided to make dinner for us. It was so wonderful. I can safely say that I have the best g/f ever :) We had:

• Spicy carrot/orange salad -She used unsweetened mandarin oranges instead of the tangerines and substituted the mandarin juice for the orange juice
  
• Maple Grilled Tempeh - Used wheat free tamari and grade B maple syrup. The recipe said to serve this over a grain, but we just ate it plain, since I am grain free.
  
• Yellow Gazpacho - She substituted 1/2 avocado for the oil and used red wine vinegar in place of the sherry vinegar.
• Balsamic blueberries and peaches- this was the best dessert! She used date sugar instead of refined sugar and only used 1 tbsp instead of 3. The black pepper was a welcome addition.

I would readily make any of these recipes again. I think the gazpacho would be excellent with sweet sungold tomatoes and dessert was absolutely to die for.

We went to the movies after dinner and I was so satisfied that I couldn't even begin to think about popcorn. In fact, it didn't even smell good. Now THAT is a change.

Day 15

Today is day 15 of my strict ETL plan. I feel great- better every day. I am losing weight, my clothes are feeling better, I have more energy, my food cravings are diminishing more every day (still have some, but not as bad) and my food is starting to taste GREAT.

Last night after work, we went for a bike ride around the Cap City Trail. The total from our house is close to 17 miles. This is one of my favorite rides in Madison and the weather was perfect.

By the time we got home, I was really hungry, For dinner I had a smoothie with a banana, blueberries, 1 oz of raw sunflower and lots of spinach. I was still really hungry, so I had some more of my lasagna creation from the other night.

Breakfast this morning was cherries, red grapes, a peach, and 1oz of raw cashews. Yum!

I also noticed that I am sleeping less, but am not waking up tired. It is nice to have so much energy.

Lunch was taco salad (romaine, homemade pico de gallo, black beans, mato zest, corn, cucumber)
and a spinach, mango, banana, cashew smoothie.

Dinner was a salad with Romaine, chick peas, tempeh, carrots, sugar snap peas, radishes, red onion and Dr. Furhman's Spicy Pecan Vinegar. This was the first time I tried the vinegar and it was really good.

I was still hungry after dinner and found myself falling into old habits. All day today, I have been craving Steak, which is odd, because I rarely eat meat, I mean RARELY. I must still be detoxing, cuz the cravings are in full force tonight.

Luckily, we don't have any junk food in the house. I air popped some popcorn (2 cups) and sprayed it lightly with braggs and then sprinkled it with nutritional yeast. Then I decided to eat some grapes and a tbsp of almond butter.

Now my stomach is really full. I stopped myself, but realize that I had too many nuts today and the popcorn and grapes were about emotional eating and not true hunger. I am glad I recognize this. I am also not beating myself up about my slip. I recognize that for a few minutes, I fell back into old habits and now I am more aware of toxic hunger vs true hunger.

Yay!

Day 14

Today has been pretty uneventful. I do feel like I have more energy and my cravings are starting to subside.

Breakfast was an orange, cherries, and 1 oz of raw cashews.

Lunch was left over vegan lasagna (oil free tomato sauce, zucchini, portabello mushrooms, mato zest, garlic, tofu and nutritional yeast). Raw carrots, sugar snap peas, radishes and hummus.

Dinner will be leftovers again. I am craving salad. Hmmmm- maybe taco salad again. I still have some homemade pico de gallo and avocado.

Will be hitting the gym after work.

Barbeque on Eat to Live

Yesterday we went to a graduation party and BBQ. I wasn't sure how this was going to be, so I drank a blended salad before the party.

I also brought a bottle of Kombucha so that I felt like I still had a treat and wouldn't be tempted to drink the beer.

Amazingly, I really enjoyed myself and it was great to catch up with friends. I made sure to think of it as a way to see people and the food and beer were secondary. My g/f ate at the BBQ and drank a beer and the funny thing was that I didn't even want any. I looked at the spread of food and it looked like there was the 7 layer taco dip (mostly cheese and sour cream) a couple of mayonnaise laden potato salad dishes, brats and burgers, lots of chips, cookies, and fruit. We brought the fruit. As we were leaving, I noticed that the fruit barely had a dent in it. No big surprise.

I started to get hungry after we had been there for a while and knew that I had better leave. We stopped at the co-op, but the deli was closed and there was NOTHING in the case that I could eat. I started to have a break down and realized that the party may have had a bigger impact on me than I had anticipated.

The good news is that I recognized what was happening and didn't allow my emotional eating to take over. This is so new for me and feels really amazing. Still hard and a lot of emotions are surfacing as I am not medicating with food anymore, but I feel just great.

I weighed at the gym today and am down 7 pounds already! Plus, I feel really great. I have not had any fibromyalgia or dysplasia flair ups either, which is just amazing!

Yesterday was hard in some ways and easy in others. I am going to allow myself to keep feeling good. This thing is actually working. Thanks Dr. Fuhrman!


Food today has been pretty minimal. I have a bit of a stomach bug and haven't had much of an appetite. Am just finishing a banana, spinach, mango, pineapple smoothie and feel pretty good. Also ate just a bit of eat to live vegan lasagna. Amazingly good, but a bit much for right now.

July 11

Today is beautiful. It is really sunny and not very humid. I took the dogs for a long walk down by the Marsh. Yesterday we went to the gym and I did 30 minutes of cardio, 10 mins of 15/15 intervals and power wheel roll-outs and knees to elbows.

I wasn't hungry this morning, so I didn't eat until noon. I had a great salad with black beans, pico de gallo, and avocado.

Blueberry Banana Sorbet

Last night after dinner, I made blueberry banana sorbet. This made 2 servings and was really good.

1 package frozen blueberries
1 ripe banana
3/4 cup soy milk

Blend until really creamy and smooth. Pour into 2 bowls and top with a few raw cashews. Put in freezer for about 20 minutes until it sets. This is a great treat.

Peach, Banana, Kale Smoothie

Blend 1 banana, 1 peach, 2-3 cups of frozen kale and 1 cup of water or soy milk! You can also throw in 1 ounce of raw nuts or seeds! Yummy!

Pico de Gallo

This is really yummy and it only takes about 15 minutes to make! Especially if you have the Vidalia Chop Wizard. I rarely fall into the 'as seen on tv' trap, but this thing REALLY works. I love, love, love it. You can also use a food processor.

It is a must have if you want to eat nutritionally rich.

Ingredients:

6-10 Roma Tomatoes
1 med yellow or white onion
1 med green pepper
1-2 jalapenos
1 lime
cilantro (I like a lot, but this is an optional ingredient)
2-3 cloves garlic (mmmmm, garlic)

Coarsely chop the tomato, onion, green pepper, and the jalapenos (they will give more heat if you leave the seeds in)

Finely chop the cilantro and mince the garlic. Lastly squeeze add the juice of 1 lime.

Let sit for at least a couple of hours before serving. I usually let this sit over night and by the next day it is wonderful.

July 10

I have been thinking a lot about presentation and how much better I feel when my food looks really good- colorful and juicy. I have taken quite a few pictures of my food over the past couple of weeks. Today at lunch I spent a lot of time arranging my food, finding the best light and location. I like this. It makes me feel good.

Breakfast was a peach, an orange, and an apple with 2tbsp of raw sunflower seeds.

Lunch was the usual for the week. Healthy taco salad. It was basically a repeat of yesterday. I also had a banana, peach, and kale green smoothie.

Dinner was out. I had a veggie plate with hummus and tapenade. Everything was vegan, however it was very salty and a bit oily.

Good, bad, and in Between

Yesterday was a roller coaster ride. I woke up feeling so great and felt great until about 5pm, when I started to get cravings. What did me in was a picture of a giant cheeseburger, dripping with mayo, cheese, bacon, and grease, and the glorious white buns.

Okay, I know that if I ate the burger, not only would it taste terrible, it would make me feel sick. I have food sensitivities to dairy and wheat, so even before becoming vegan, eating like that made me sick. It took me years to realize why I felt bad all the time - tired and stuffy, with constant heartburn, moody too.

I suppose the cravings to the cheeseburger are a product of toxic hunger, detox, and food addiction. I started to wonder what else was going on for me, like this thought that I will feel better if I eat the cheeseburger. It just came to me as I am typing this. Yesterday morning I felt great. I mean great. Better than I have felt in a long time. No aches, no allergies, lots of energy, no self loathing. That is why I wanted the burger. Self sabotage. I am afraid to feel good, afraid to succeed. I need to keep addressing this issue and now that I am not medicating with food, I know that I will conquer it.

The great news is that I didn't go out and buy a cheeseburger.

I was really hungry when I got home from work, but this may have been a product of the addiction and the cheeseburger incident and not true hunger. I went the the cupboard and grabbed my g/f's tortilla chips and started eating them. I was about 10 chips in when I realized what I was doing. I was just stuffing them in my mouth. I put the bag away and took my dogs for a walk. This allowed me to get my head on straight.

For dinner I had a blended salad of Romaine, 2 oranges, a few cashews, 1tbs of blood orange vinegar, and a cucumber. I had to add a little water as it was way to thick. It was really yummy!

I had more cravings last night as my housemate made popcorn. I couldn't take it and know that I once again gave into toxic hunger. I made some popcorn, but without oil. I sprayed it lightly with Braggs and then added some mato zest. It was a great treat. I also had an apple with a tsp of almond butter.

I realize that the snacking is not part of the plan and have been good until last night. I still feel good though. I could have had the cheeseburger and fallen off completely, but didn't.

Today is a new day and so far I feel pretty good.

Today's lunch

Once again it is Taco Salad the Eat to Live way :) Today I received my Mato Zest and vinegar sample pack! I tried each of the vinegars and they are really yummy!

anyway, lunch was

• romaine lettuce,
• homemade pico de gallo (tomato, jalapeno, white onion, green pepper, lime juice, garlic, and cilantro)
• frozen corn
• an avocado
• black beans cooked in water, salt free taco seasoning from the co-op ( no fillers, just herbs and spices) and a bit of the mato zest.

I took the picture before I added the beans, cuz they made it look kind of muddy! I was still really hungry after this, so I made a green smoothie with Kale, banana, strawberries, a bit of soy milk and water. It was delicious.


Another 5 star lunch.

Day 10

I feel great today! I think I am done with the really hard detox period. YAY!

Yesterday for lunch I had a taco salad - it was really good. It had romaine lettuce, black beans,
red onion, corn, avocado, and home-made pico de gallo. I had an orange for dessert.

For dinner, we went to one of my favorite restaurants and we shared a cup of vegan tom ka tofu soup and then I had a wonderful salad with lots of greens, sunflower seeds, sweet potato, beets, carrots, and peppers. I asked them to hold the dressing, but they forgot. Normally, I would have sent it back, but the restuarant was REALLY busy, so I ate it. The dressing was vegan, but was pretty oily. Luckily the salad wasn't swimming in oil.

I also had a bottle of ginger-ale. I really regretted this as it was WAY too sweet. Of course, I still drank it though.

I need to work on not just eating or drinking something b/c it is in front of me. It is okay to stop before it is gone. As a food addict, I have never been very good at this.

Also went to the gym. It was a quick workout due to time, but got in 30 minutes of 15/15 intervals. My heart was thumping and my muscles were burning, so it was good.

It is 10:30 and I just starting to get hungry, but it may be toxic hunger. I am finding that I am not truly hungry until closer to 11 or 12. I am also starting to like the feeling of true hunger. I am realizing that I am not going to die if I don't eat right away.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a moment where I started craving a snack. I couldn't get it out of my mind and like a robot, I went to the vending machine. I was going to get peanuts, but luckily they were out. They did have 'sweet and salty' trail mix that was full of m&m's, but I was strong. I looked at the other options, and none of looked even remotely good. I returned to my desk and went immediately to the Eat to Live member forums and read some posts. Being a member is what is saving me. It is nice to know that there are so many people that are going through the same thing and are having success. I finally have the support that has been missing. Not having a snack yesterday was a huge win, not eating the peanut m&m's or the toxic trail mix, or the cheezit crackers. I am beating this thing!

I woke up today feeling energized and very happy! Here's to my health!

I woke up

The wagon had a flat

Well, I didn't completely fall of the wagon, but let's just say it had a flat. Tuesday and Thursdays nights are busy for me. I leave work, then have 2 hour long appointments and don't finish until 9. I have about an hour in between work and my first appointment and then about 45 minutes to get to my second, but 30 minutes of that is driving.

This has been like this for at least a year. I KNOW my schedule, yet I failed to plan ahead. Part of the addiction cycle is self defeat and I have that one down pat.

I got home late from work and only had time to change, plus I wasn't hungry. I started to get hungry during my first appointment. Knowing that I didnt want to eat dinner at 9, I decided that I needed to eat. Normally, I could go to the co-op or even whole foods and get salad, but on these nights I don't have time.

I decided to go to Qdoba knowing that it would be dangerous. I actually made out better than I thought, but still could have been better. Here is what I had:

• A "naked" burrito bowl (no tortilla)
• no rice
• black beans (they assured me these were vegetarian)
• fajita veggies (these were oily and tasted bad)
• lettuce
• corn salsa
• pico de gallo
• hand smashed quacamole

The above would have been fine, but my addictive side took over and I ignored the voice in the back of my head that was screaming at me NO NO NO and ordered the corn chips with Pico de gallo.

The burrito bowl was oily and tasted funny, the corn chips were bitter and really, really salty. In fact the entire meal was salty. Ridiculously salty.

I went to my appointment and my stomach felt horrible. I was beyond full even though I didn't really eat that much as far as bulk. There was a moment that I thought I was going to puke. Yuck.

Today I woke up with stomach cramps and a back ache (maybe unrelated, maybe not) and my allergies were bothering me.

It is now 10:30 and I'm not even close to being hungry.

The good news is that two weeks ago, I would have let this set me back and would have said, ahhh fuck it, I might as well binge....this time is different. My body is becoming more sensitive and I am hyper-aware of how bad I feel when I abuse my body with nasty SAD (standard american diet) food. This is great and is new.

I am left with knowing that I can do this. I will do this. Today is a good day.

Day 8 - Part 2

So, I did eat the apple at breakfast :)

Everyone went out to lunch and they were all trying to get me to come along. I would have, if I had food prepared, but had planned on going home for lunch. I was good and stuck to my plan. I told them all that I would love to join them, but had to go home to eat due to my new and wonderful diet. When I told them what I was doing, everyone said "there is no way I could do that"

Lunch was good today, but kind of weird. I started with a huge bowl of Romaine and added carrots, red onion, cucumber and chick peas. That seemed kind of boring, so I topped it with the left over sweet potato, kale mixture from last night and for good measure threw in an ounce of sunflower seeds. For dressing I just used balsamic vinegar.

I am into the balsamic. Last Tuesday was my first true ETL day and when I used the balsamic for dressing, it was SO SOUR that I could barely eat it. It is amazing how quickly my taste buds have changed. Now the balsamic tastes kind of sweet, but definitely not sour.

Orange Cashew Dressing

This was my second attempt at an Eat To Live Recipe. Basically it is an orange, some cashews, and I used rasbperry vinegar. I ate it with the salad in the picture. It was really, really good. In the past, I have been leary of mixing my fruit and veggies, but as my taste buds change, this combination is starting to taste better.

Day 8

Yesterday was a really hard day. I received some good news and of course the first thing I wanted to do was celebrate by going out to eat and having a beer. It dawned on me that what I have viewed as celebration in the past is more like self abuse due to my many addictions.

The good news is that I made it through the day and instead of celebrating my good news, I can celebrate my health and "sobriety"

Last nights dinner was really good. It was baked tofu with a bunch of herbs, steamed kale and sweet potato with garlic and walnuts. I mixed all of that together and served over a bed of Romaine lettuce and topped with balsamic vinegar.

After dinner, g/f and I went for a bike ride. She just bought her first road bike, so we only went 11 miles, but it was fun. I love riding through the arboretum.

Breakfast this morning is grapes, an orange, and 15 raw cashews. I have an apple too, but don't think that I am going to be hungry for it.

Detox, Detox, Detox

So, today is my seventh day on the Eat to Live Plan and man is it tough.

I was already pretty healthy before starting the plan. I have food allergies to dairy and eggs and rarely eat meat. I do eat too many refined sugars and food products and feel bad when I eat grains.

I had a headache last week, which is gone now, but I still feel fatigued. I also have a lot of mental stuff going on with cravings and false hunger. Like I somehow feel like I am going to starve if I don't have a snack. ha ha ha! This is so funny since we live in a society with an over-abundance of food. Quitting oil and salt is turning out to be easier than I thought it would be.

Here is what I have eaten so far today:

Breakfast:
Orange, apple, and peach

Lunch:
Salad w/ Romaine, red onion, sunflower seeds, chickpeas, and carrots. For the dressing, I blended 1/2 banana, 1 cup of blueberries, and 1 tbsp of red wine vinegar. It was definitely interesting.


Not sure about dinner yet, but will probably be baked tofu (yum) and steamed Kale with balsamic vinegar.

Black Bean Mango Salad

This was my first attempt at an Eat to Live Recipe. This was incredible and the picture does not even begin to do it justice. Basically, it consisted of black beans, corn, red pepper, cilantro, mango, avocado, red onion and some herbs. I ate it over a bed of romaine and garnished with avocado!